The reflection

The mirror, it’s defined as something which reflects a clear image. Key word reflect. This surely shows what is in front of it right? I remember seeing a photo once with the caption <Take a moment to realise you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures. Some scientist agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn't recognise it as you, because our idea what we look like is so different from what we actually look like. This was fascinating to me. Because I look in that mirror and pick out everything I didn’t like. The fat I apparently had on my size ten frame. My so called cellulite, my so called disgusting legs, how ugly I looked. Then seeing this picture I remembered that’s a reflection of how I see myself. So instead of picking stuff out I hated every morning I would look at something and compliment myself. So next time your in the mirror love yourself. And you may just possibly see a reflection you like.

Be you and be okay with it.
You have a purpose in the world

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Worries of the summer..

So today, I got my visa. I’m traveling to the states. Somehow I’m going to spend nine weeks away from home. I’m a massive home girl. But I’m going with family. I’m going with my girlfriend. Seeee here it’s something else. Nine weeks with your other half, heaven or hell? Depends surely? What mood your in in the day, what the kids are like? No, how in love you are. I signed up to have a scholarship in America two years ago, somehow I got in. I was apparently good enough to go to the states to play football. Maybe that college wasn’t good I hear you say but it was. I done research. What kept me home debating it? Family. I couldn’t even go two days without seeing my parents or my brother and a week without seeing my Nan. Unluckily I ended up snapping my ACL and having to go to a university in England. Now that’s where I think fate had me go. Now in a matter of three months I’m going to be across the world for nine weeks. What’s keeping me going on this journey. My girlfriend. She’s keeping me going through life.

What am I worried about though? This is where I tell you as you might not of known I’m very. Madly deeply in love with my girlfriend. Our story cut short.. We played football together in an academy when we were 10. I know young. However when our club couldn’t fund us anymore we trailed for a different academy she got in I didn’t. Along thee way is saw her, and I’d always get this feeling around her. She is beautiful. She just glows. She didn’t recognise me however so we went nine years without a word. We didn’t see each other that much but we did think about eachother, whether it was just a quick little thought about the old times and old best friends or a random don’t I know that girl. She came to my university to see her friends who happened to live in my block and bam we fell in love. She was gay, I was straight however one look I contemplated everything. You could say like she does we were attached by an invisible red string like all soul mates are and no matter who we thought we were in love with that red string knew it would only be straight with us funny enough that we’re not straight. However the rest is history after one night we knew we were falling in love. Now sixteen months later I know where we will get married our kids names (hopefully) where we are living and my future will always be her. However back to the part. What I’m worried about is people, I don’t know about America maybe they are all for equal rights. But some some won’t be. I know when we were walking hand in hand we are both wary of people. In America in camp we both know it’s our work place but after jobs last summer we’d go to each other chill, cuddle, flirt, kiss. I somehow don’t think that will happen here. What I’m scared of is we will be right back as best friends, or get caught and get thrown out. But I know we will make it. That red string is soul mates. It may get tangles along the way, but just like those ear phones what are to tangled make you contemplate is it worth it for the long journey ahead of you, you sigh and get on with untangling them. Once you do.. Isn’t it worth that few seconds (maybe minutes) for the happiness you feel when you hear the sound. It’s worth that little moment in your life for the long journey what awaits you.

However, this experience. After allllll this hassle and all this money. Is going to be amazing, coaching tennis and soccer (we know it’s really football don’t we) is going to be a memory I will always keep, I know I’ll be talking about it for the rest of my life, I’ll remember the kids, the views, the sun, the tan, the laughs. The homesickness but most of all I’ll remember the happiness. All I can say is I’m ready for the best summer of my life.

So once again as I bid good night, think for a second. In that short moment of life when your about to give up and stop. Remember it’s worth it just to untangle yourself for those few seconds and be happy with the outcome instead of tangling and reducing your length.

Hugs and kisses before sweet dreams.
xo