Late nights

Your going fail,
She’s going to leave you
Your not good enough
Your ugly
Your nobody

These are just some thoughts late at night. I know I can’t be wrong that some people have these as well. I know people get these monsters in their head. But sometimes these voices in my head. They just beat me up to much. It’s to much to cope with sometimes. My heart it runs cold sometimes like it feels like it stops. Just before bed when it’s quiet it feels like the voices start, they suddenly wake up and tick more. Start hating me. But I know I’m nice person.

I care to much maybe. Maybe I care to much about my own opinion. I’ve been raised well and my girlfriend loves me so I must be doing something right. Right? One day these demons I’ll make them stop. I need to keep feeling good about myself and hopefully the positives will over come the negatives, family they keep me going. They don’t know to much about it thankfully. My girlfriends however maybe she knows to much, but that’s because I love her. I feel sorry for her sometimes, it’s like I’m to much. I know I am, she’s amazing. And I don’t deserve her. But Im needy for reasons! Reasons what she knows but I know I’m to needy. But I’ve been left to many times before so of course im a broken girl. But she fixed me and I’m scared she’ll drop me and shattered me all over the floor because it’s a love like no others. These self doubts they will stop. What do you get when your punching way above your weight. However I’m going love myself, I’ll see myself through other peoples eyes. That’s what I want to see. Myself good. I’m happy I just need these voices and doubts to stop.

be you and be okay with it!

Also good luck to my girl whose starting a new job tonight. Very proud

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2 Comments

  1. Hi there. I felt an urge of commenting after reading this, not sure why, but here goes. First of all, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.

    A very good strategy of the devil is placing thoughts in your mind that don’t sound like it’s another person/demon saying it… it sounds like you. For example, instead of “you’re ugly”, he whispers “I’m ugly”, making it sound like you said it. I don;t know if you believe in the devil or not, but I believe he does exist, and what I know is that he is the father of lies and has come to destroy. Now, if, as you said in the beginning, it sounds like, “you’re” instead of “I’m”, then that just makes it clearer.

    Do not believe him. These thoughts are not true. You are loved by a God that says the opposite of what he says, but it doesn;t seem like you know this God yet. Maybe you do, and if so, I’m glad.

    Please take care. I’m here if you want to message me about anything.

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